Bob's Lies

 Bob’s Lies

Military Misteps

On January 28, 1941, Robert Marion Gist enlisted, stating that he had a four-year college education. He is identified as a Branch Immaterial Component Selectee, an enlisted man. Robert had registered for the draft in 1940, so he was likely drafted. From that point forward, it is anyone’s guess as to what happened, but I have a few facts, according to Gist et al., that I will put here and let you make your own decision:

• December 6, 1942 Chicago Tribune

Lieutenant Robert M Gist, son of Mr. and Mrs. Marion Gist, 7930 Rhodes Avenue, who had a part in Abraham Lincoln before he entered the Army, is now stationed at New Orleans, Louisiana…For a year and a half after he entered the Army in January of 1941, he was assigned to Fort Custer, where he helped direct plays. Later, at Fort Benning, he received his wings of a parachute jumper and his commission.

• In 1940, Robert registered for the draft listing of his employer as NBC. He was working in radio and had appeared in “Li'l Abner” and “Captain Midnight.”  In October 1941, Robert traveled the country in a civilian company, lecturing students about working in radio. He was in Texas and Arkansas in 1941 doing these lectures. Then, a little more editing, and in December 1942, he was a Lieutenant stationed in New Orleans. When he first entered, according to the paper, he was assigned to Fort Custer, where he helped direct plays. He then went to Fort Benning, where he received his wings as a parachutist and his commission. His story continues improving because, by 1944, he was a Gunnery Officer at Guadalcanal, where he got malaria. The Battle of Guadalcanal began in August 1942. According to the newspaper, he was stationed in New Orleans, where he became a paratrooper. It ended on February 9, 1943, and he was in Chicago healthy as a horse and getting married on August 18th, 1943, not lying in a military hospital suffering the lingering effects of malaria. Not to mention that there is no record of him being evacuated or lying in an army hospital. So we go from enlisting to touring the rural areas of Texas and Arkansas lecturing about the pure joy of radio to being stationed in New Orleans and then Fort Benning where he hurled himself out of planes as a parachutist to Gunnery Officer at Guadalcanal who contracted malaria but was miraculously cured in time to apply for a marriage license six months after the battle ended. I'm pretty sure that never happened, ever. Yes, he enlisted, but there is no record of him participating in overseas action.

None of the dates listed below are anywhere near Fort Benning, Georgia. So the aforementioned wings and commission, um, not so much. Fort Custer is in Augusta, Michigan, so exactly how did he direct plays there and do radio schools out of uniform in Arkansas and Texas?

• February 27, 1941, Radio School Canyon Texas

• On September 17, 1941, in East Helena, Arkansas, Gist is listed as performing in a series presented at Helena High School. Robert

• October 23, 1941, Radio School Austin, Texas

• November 6, 1941, Austin, Texas: Robert is mentioned again in the “Canyon High” series. 

• November 24, 1941, Radio School Wichita Falls, Texas

• November 25, 1941, Austin, Texas: Robert is mentioned again in the “Canyon High” series.

• May 14, 1942, Radio School Canyon, Texas

• August 18, 1943, Robert Gist marries Louise Van Dyke in Chicago Cook County, Illinois, and I can find no record of a divorce. License 1785171

On April 23, 1961, on page 132 of the Tampa Bay Times called “Robert Gist, One-Man Band. The article details Robert’s acting in a production while directing it. Standard fare, if you will. But there is one section of immense interest, and it goes like this:

“Gist got his start as an actor in his native Chicago at Hull House settlement house operated by the celebrated Maude Adams.  World War II interrupted his career, and he served as a paratrooper in the Philippines, suffering a head injury that required insertion of a metal plate into his skull.” All this time, we have been told malaria, and now he has a plate in his head?

Then we move on to March 4, 1948, and the engagement announcement of Jane Van Duser and Robert. “During World War II, he served as Captain in the Army, having been with the 11th Airborne Division in action in the Pacific. He holds two Presidential Citations.” Are you kidding me? For what exactly did he receive not one but two Presidential Citations? I’ll tell you what others received them for the liberation of the Philippines, which we have already established Robert was absent from because he was in New York doing summer theatre and “Harvey.” Stolen valor. The name given to the 11th Airborne Division was the Artic Angels because they were based in Alaska, and Robert was never part of it. Epic storytelling, Bob, but your research is horrendous.

The Battle of Guadal Canal was from August 7, 1942, to February 9, 1943. The Battle of the Philippines happened from October 20, 1944, to August 15, 1945. While Guadalcanal is possible, he left no record whatsoever, and the battle for the Philippines occurred after he was already in New York, doing summer theatre. So he had no plate in his head from a parachute mishap in 1944 because he was nowhere near the Phillippines. There are no records in the National Archives that verify any of Robert’s service zero. He enlisted, and that was that.

Robert was not buried with military honors. If he had served in the places he claimed, he would have deserved military honors, but he didn’t serve the way he claimed. There was a Robert M. Gist in New Orleans, but here's the problem: he was a Marine and African American. Stolen valor again.

I’m A Tough Guy, See!

Moving right along in Robert's fantasy bonanza, we’re going to look at his “tough kind from the southside” schtick. 

Here are the truths.

Robert was not a tough street kid. How do we know this? Look to the Calumet High School yearbook in 1935 for answers. What you’re going to see is that Robert Gist was a very dedicated student. He was a member of the Public Speaking Cub, ACCL, Welfare Delegate, Law Club, Fencing Club, Student Forum, Civic Forum, Mixed Chorus, Orchestra, Thespians, Track Team, and the Boys Glee Club. He also played basketball. Doesn’t sound like someone you’d expect to find being a juvenile delinquent, does it? No, it doesn’t at all, and that is because he wasn’t. I have never met a “bad boy” who was this involved in every single aspect of his high school. When you have a pedigree in high school like the one above, the bad boys do not want you hanging with them. You’re a nerd, not a thug.

Furthermore, the Southside News, on July 13, 1934, reported that the picnic of Lawn Presbyterian Church and Sunday School at 62nd and St. Louis Avenue was held at Ryan’s Woods on Saturday, July 8th. Attendee: Robert Gist. Again, church picnics are not something a juvenile delinquent would make a point of attending, and you will notice that the church throwing the picnic was a Presbyterian Church. Whose father was a Presbyterian Minister? Yes, that’s right, Aggie was the daughter of a Presbyterian Minister. Robert had far more in common with Aggie than anybody realized. With a pedigree like this and his theatre experience, Agnes was going to fall for him, lock, stock, and barrel. He was everything Jack wasn’t, including Presbyterian, and he essentially was practically custom-made for Agnes. Unfortunately for her.

Robert attended Calumet High School and graduated in February 1936. There is no evidence to support the story that he ended up in Hull House because he was a delinquent. He ended up there because Maude Adams was involved with it. Robert acted in Goodman Theater productions until 1940, when he is said to have transitioned to radio. I have yet to see his name listed, so he wasn’t a star performer, but I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt and agree that he may have been a supporting actor or voice-over man.  The juvenile delinquent stuff was likely to add color to what appeared to be a genuinely average life in middle-class Chicago. He lived on the Southside because his father was an engineer, which made it easy for him to commute to and from work. The neighborhood they lived in was not crime-ridden at all. In 1930, his family lived at 7816 Paulina Street. This is a lovely brick three-apartment building built in 1920. When Robert lived there, it was only 10 years old. All of the surrounding buildings are brick-built around the same time. It's not the hood, and even today, it isn’t run-down.

Long story short, Robert Marion Gist was a chameleon with an overinflated sense of self. He made up colorful stories to pad out his extremely average young life. He continued to spin those yarns his whole life, embellishing them and failing to thoroughly research them. Can I prove he didn’t have malaria? Yes, he was never on any military hospital list. Again, there is a Robert M. Gist who was there, but as I said before, he was a Marine and African American. He’s the only Robert M. Gist who ended up in the hospital. Can I prove he wasn’t the tough, troubled kid he claimed he was? Yes, his high school yearbooks prove that. Was he a womanizer? Yes, ask the six women who lived with him. I can’t prove his reasoning for it all, but in the end, what matters is that he was never who he claimed to be. Smoke and mirrors that is all his personal life was. I have to admit, though, he was talented, and that's frankly the truth.