Chapter 8: The Cult Of Agnes Moorehead

 Chapter 8: The Cult of Agnes Moorehead

My Work Anyone Can See

One thing that would please Agnes is knowing how she is adored by millions today. She was always thinking about her audience, in public and in private. The fact that Endora has become a cult figure would simultaneously annoy and delight her. There is a cult of Agnes Moorehead, plain and simple. Hit the internet and see for yourself. Even a wall in Hollywood sits beside a parking lot with this statement  blazing across it: “Agnes Moorehead Is God.” They paint over it, and it goes right back up again. You are a cult figure if people do this regularly. She isn’t just remembered for Bewitched. “Citizen Kane” has garnered the attention of film buffs since it was made, and she is remembered for that among a list a mile long. Her secret, if you can call it that, is that she appealed to many types of people in many ways. See, I told you she was a chameleon.

I Have Been A Wicked Woman 

Many personalities inhabited Agnes Moorehead. You would never find the end if you tried to catalogue them all. We all have many personalities living in our minds, and it stems from the fact that every person you meet experiences you differently. This was true of Agnes as well. Her experiences were different from ours because she was born one hundred and twenty-four years ago. Parenting then bore no relationship to what we call parenting today.

If you ask anybody, if only that were possible, what working with Agnes was like, chances are you’ll get extraordinary responses about her kindness, her laughter, her sense of fun, her professionalism, how prepared she was for everything, and that most folks gave her a wide berth out of deep respect. But other things are living in that mind, too. Walls designed to deflect. Stories designed to protect. Enhancements sprinkled heavily through partial or nonexistent truths. We haven't even begun to figure out about the grand dame herself. Agnes lived two lives. There was her public life, which dealt exclusively with her industry. There was her private life, which, most unfortunately, burst into her public life repeatedly and ultimately burdened her with tragedy upon tragedy.

Agnes was a chameleon. Her personality was reliant on the situation she was in. She claimed to be conservative and was a registered Republican, but she had masses of gay male friends who adored her, and she adored them. I remember reading or hearing somewhere that she had a gay friend who would often come to stay in Beverly Hills, and they had conversations at all hours of the night in various states of undress. Not a prude by any standard, however, she was constantly on about God, the Bible, the way the world was going to pot, drugs, sex, and the list goes on. She was an enigma. Schroedinger's Actress.

What You See Isn’t What You Get

Who exactly was Agnes Moorehead? Her personality was a brick wall for most people. If you take a run at it, you’re going to end up with a concussion, guaranteed. She was carefully engineered by years of stress; when I say years, I mean years. Her schedule was inhumane, and she set it up herself. She worked through the pain. She worked through grief. She worked through illness. It often seems as if she wants the pain, the suffering, and the anguish. It is as if they are characters she will play in development. Think about her life for just a minute. Could you manage to come out the other side of your sister’s death without cracking up? Could you endure the death of your father as he was doing his job in god’s house? Would you be able to tolerate 20 years of a physically abusive alcoholic? Would you not be exhausted if your work schedule had you traveling 46 weeks a year? Would you be able to handle the death of your grandfather and your sister three months apart? Would you be able to cope with the accidental death of your maternal grandfather the same year your paternal grandmother passes away with a 4-month gap between them? Could you endure the humiliation of a man treating you like a stepping stone because he did it for his career? The answer is yes if you’re Agnes Moorehead.

The Power Of The Name Agnes Moorehead

“Agnes is a performer, perfectionist, preacher, and philosopher.” 

Warren Sherk.

Here is a wee bit of her philosophy of life, the universe, and everything else:

1. A genuine actress' compliments never compete.

2. If I can’t contribute something good, something imaginative or creative, I’ll stay home instead.

3. There must be glamor and mystery where stars are concerned.

4. Fantasy trumps reality

5. Always walk like a Princess, proud of your abilities

6. If your thoughts are dull, your voice will reflect it

7. When I’m on stage, I try to be as attractive as possible.

8. There is always hope that the theatre can be cleaned up and restored to its dignity to touch the human heart, which always needs to be touched.

9. “You asked me to define 'love'; how’s this? Living with and striving toward increasing compassion and truth.”

Agnes was a master of hiding herself from the eye of the public while in public. Her voice is her biggest

 tell. When she was the "Grand Dame," she used the "continental American accent," and when she was

Aggie, she sounded just like a real honest-to-goodness average person. She made an art out of aloofness,

which is precisely what makes her so appealing even today. She was all things to all people all of the 

time, mostly. Agnes has been impersonated in performances constantly since TV Land made Bewitched.

a staple and repeated it constantly. Endora was outrageous, but Agnes was being impersonated in 

Hollywood as far back as the mid-1940s. You will still find young impersonators interpreting Aggie left 

and right. That was the depth of her identity, every beautiful, whacky minute of it, and people identify.

with that identity still. She was a legend in her own time, and she is a legend in ours. Agnes 

is a part of one of the greatest films ever made, the First Lady of Suspense on the radio, helped create

an entirely brand new form of theatre, performed on Broadway, and created one of the most

memorable characters in the history of television. This is why the cult of Agnes Moorehead lives and 

thrives still. Google her and see what you get. Then ask yourself why. Because she's Agnes Moorehead!

She’s not cold; she’s just protecting herself after being hurt too many times by people who promised they would never hurt her. Loneliness hits her, too, but it never breaks her soul; people do. Solitude never lies or betrays her trust. Solitude is her safe place because people just hurt her more than being alone ever did.

@colavsdaughter.