As I approach unfinished territory with my writing, I will post it as it stands. However, please remember to check back, as I'm nowhere near through and will continue the writing process in this blog. In the meantime, you'll have some good information, and I will do my best to pull all of this together. Going forward, I will write from my point of view, but it will change, and I will insert Aggie into telling the story as I work my way through it.
Chapter 7: Flawed But Still Worthy
1970
“I always consider what I am doing at the moment the finest thing in my life. I find there's more
happiness that way than forever taking old triumphs out of trunks and dusting them off.”
January 3, 1970
Tulsa, Oklahoma
Pericles Alexander
The bewitching scuttlebutt from Hollywood is that Agnes Moorehead has been asked if she would
consider taking over the title role in “Coco” on Broadway if Katherine Hepburn bows out next April.
The lady is interested, but her role in “Bewitched” poses.
When Reality Jerks You Up
What happens when reality jerks us up and insists we live in the real world?
Some people often maintain their sanity by simply living in their heads and fantasizing about what the
world should be. We have all become familiar in recent years with the idea that there are people whose
entire existence is literally in their heads. To be fair, you cannot honestly blame anybody for choosing to live in their heads. Have you seen the world lately? Agnes had a little litany of alternative universes.
She came across as a strong woman, yet insecure on a championship level. She presented herself as a
financially competent person yet was constantly in debt. She was intelligent but made terrible
decisions with alarming regularity. She was warm and welcoming but could not give her foster
son the love he needed to thrive. The complexity of Agnes’ character is such that it comes along only
rarely in anybody as talented as she.
The Complexity of Agnes
Agnes was tragic. It is a part of her beauty. Look at her eyes in those candid pictures taken
when nobody is looking or when she is tired. Those eyes were the saddest I've ever seen.
They are the mirrors of her soul. Even when she's smiling, something so distinctly sad is behind them.
But just think about the strength of this soul, too.
This magnificent phoenix of a soul drags itself up repeatedly from the ashes of some occurrence that
would have killed a weaker person.. She rises and keeps going forward, even in the face of death. That is impressive, people, and without, so far as we know, one iota of psychoanalysis.
Nobody was there to put out a medical hand to hold her up.
She stood up through sheer force of will.
Agnes Moorehead had more inner strength than fifty average people. Trauma does that to you. Two kinds of
people survive trauma. The first is the one who inhabits it. The devil you know is easier to deal with than the
angel you've never met. People like this carry that trauma just under the surface of their skin or even their soul.
It pops up at the slightest provocation, and you get an adrenaline punch in the gut. The second is the one who
masters their trauma. They train it and bend it to their will. It makes them so strong that they become a force
to be reckoned with, and often, they lose their sensitivity to others' pain because they view them as weak.
Trauma can make you appear aloof, and Aggie was proud of her aloof nature. In truth, it was just part of the
armor that you earn through trauma. You judge people from a distance to evaluate how much damage they
will do to you. Between Jack, Robert, her sister's death, and her mother's overbearing nature, she was damaged
beyond belief, and she used every inch of that damage. That damage made her as deep as an actress and terrified
as a human being.
Alternate Universes
I found her to be damaged by so many things. Her mother, her sister's death, her father's death, and her
abusive husbands ( I make this plural because Robert Gist was just as vicious as Jack Lee ever thought
about being, but he did it without outward physical marks. He did it psychologically.), her money
problems, her fame, she was emotionally crippled in the most significant sense of the word, terrified of
what other people might do to her—scared of losing control of her life.
Afraid of losing her youth, her money, her career. She lived in constant terror of so many things. The only creatures on this earth she trusted implicitly were her animals, and her love for them
speaks of a person harmed by humans to the point of only trusting the unconditional love of an animal.
Do you know what it takes to reach that point? How much damage must be done to the psyche for
this to occur? It is symptomatic of several psychological disorders, you know. I read repeatedly,
"Will develop an affinity for close emotional ties to animals because it is unconditional"
Agnes herself said, "You can't depend on human beings."
Insecure on a championship level
I know very few utterly predictable people. I know even fewer who show themselves for what they are one
hundred percent of the time. I have been through trauma, but unlike her, I have had the opportunity to
speak to professionals about it, to be monitored and assisted when needed. We have all had moments when
everything we thought we knew was swept away, and we were forced to learn how to live again. Some of us
have even been where she was: controlling mother, sibling suicide, deaths in rapid succession among close
family members, divorce, financial woes, lonely, petrified that someone would learn the truth of who we were,
failed relationships, failed business ventures, overwhelmed by success, under a microscope, child behavior
issues, fearing for our future but how many of us have come through it unscathed? I would imagine very few,
very few indeed.
The Phoenix
Agnes had resurrected herself repeatedly over her forty years in the industry. Like any performer, her career
was driven by the fact that she was a female over sixty-nine despite insisting she was sixty-three.
Older actresses cannot play anything other than a grandmother, a witch, a disagreeable neighbor, or a
fairy godmother, not necessarily in that order. Aggie, like every member of that side of the family, suffered
badly from arthritis. I know what getting out of bed in the morning is like for me, and I am qualified to tell
you that it takes a minute or ten to be able to move. Agnes, again just like me, had arthritis in her hands,
shoulders, knees, and feet. She had taken to wearing copper bracelets to help with the discomfort.
Believe me, they don’t work all that well. But she never stopped, not once, because she was in pain, and
Believe me, she was in pain.
No matter what life had thrown at her, from suicide to surgeries, she rose from the ashes every single time.
She was larger than life and was present in every room she entered. She was the Queen, and her court bowed
to her daily.
The hide of an alligator
1970 17 July Collection Telegram received.
1970 1 January Agnes is visiting Molly
1970, 14 January article says the Los Angeles fog forced Agnes to relocate to a
Cleveland Suburb from which she will commute to L.A. or New York.
1970, 15 January Agnes cancels an upcoming one-woman show due to illness.
The performance was to be at Eastern Washington State College on Sunday evening.
It will be rescheduled.
1970 25 January Agnes will head the cast for “Barefoot In The Park.”
1970 3 February Agnes has been signed to play the “Head Witch '' on HR Puffenstuff.
1970 25 February Former producer William McKinley Harris is murdered by a burglar.
1970, 18 March: Agnes attends the after-party for “Idiots Delight” and complains
about Bewitched being picked up for its seventh season.
1970 1 April Agnes still hasn’t signed her Bewitched contract
1970 9 April Article about Le Lycee Francais and Sean attending it as one of five initial students.
1970 19 April Agnes claims she grew up in the Great Depression and materialism
is the reason for man's downfall. Los Angeles Times
1970 8 March Agnes schedules “That Fabulous Redhead” April 24 at The Municipal
Auditorium in Zanesville.
1970 5 May Agnes states she wants to spend 3 or 4 months a year at her newly
acquired home near Clinton, Ohio, and came to Hollywood to film Bewitched.
1970 6 May Agnes planning to go on tour again
1970 10 May Agnes moved into her country estate in central Ohio.
1970 3 June Agnes tentatively booked for a local “Lion in Winter.”
1970 1 July Agnes says she may direct a Broadway Musical.
1970 12 July Elizabeth calls Agnes “my foster mother.”
1970 31 August Agnes attends Rod McKuen’s concert at The Hollywood Bowl,
where a picnic supper was enjoyed.
1970 2 September “Lion in Winter” is canceled
1970 25 September “Barefoot in the Park” premiere
1970 22 November Article on Agnes’ cooking states she turned down a scholarship
for her sewing in favor of the stage. She gives her lobster mousse recipe.
Agnes Moorehead Says:
"You Can See Bodies In A Morgue."
By Nancy Kelley
The Times Recorder
Zanesville Ohio
April 22, 1970
"Theater should involve an audience, not shock them. It should provide a release or an enriching
experience which makes people more tolerant or merciful," Agnes Moorehead stated during an interview
Tuesday. She will make her first personal appearance in this area on Friday.
The X-rated movies, which have been so prevalent in the past few years, do not interest the
red-haired stage, screen, and television stars.
"The tendency toward repetition weakens interest in the problem, and then the objective is lost,
" she commented. "On the other hand, it may lead to more understanding by some people to
recognize a problem when it occurs. But a rampage of this kind of thing is not effective. It leaves
an audience in shock, and it doesn't learn anything in that state."
"If people want to know something about drugs or other problems, they should see documentaries
or go to hospitals. You can see bodies in a morgue," the volatile actress said.
Miss Moorehead believes that an afternoon or evening in the theater should entertain an audience
or give them a tune to hum as they leave.
"Actresses or actors, who are powerful performers, can be a destructive force if they do not represent
the right convictions," she said, punctuating the remark with a wave of her hand.
"When you are an entertainer, you are constantly learning and studying human nature.
You must have limitless imagination, judgment, taste, and a sense of psychology," she noted.
"I would go so far as to say there is too much entertainment today. We live in a discontented era
with too much affluence. No one is content with his lot," the Muskingum College graduate said.
Miss Moorehead expresses a warmth and love of the theater and her audiences no matter where she is.
"It is a constant circle of empathy-meeting of the hearts and minds and endlessly exciting and enriching.
This is what keeps one at it."
She refuses to be put into a groove or let her acting become humdrum. " It is a fast-paced life,"
she said. "We live in a cruel world, and you must have the courage of a colonel on the firing
line and the hide of an alligator. My father taught me to have courage and a fighting spirit, and
I am grateful to him for that."
Confusion And Chaos 1971
“I'm not interested in constantly feeding people tawdriness and confusion and chaos. The
world is chaotic as it is. Why feed it to them constantly?”
Introspection
While reading through everything I could humanly manage in the archives in Wisconsin, I came across an
edited script for Agnes’s one-woman show. She has annotated it with changes. The date is January 30, 1971.
One of the sidenotes of the script is “Spiritual aloofness is essential. A genius uses his soul,” very telling,"
It is followed by the following: “ Man is related to nature–humanity and diversity–We must study these reasons all the
body is a reflection of the soul.” Agnes had turned into an armchair religious philosopher at this point.
It’s something that happens as we age. But Agnes has turned herself into an island to keep people at arm's
length, and her thought process first and foremost defended her “Aloofness” before anybody even had
time to confront her with it.
Out and About
1971 was a busy year for Agnes! It started with some drama – she got into a legal battle with her
contractor over her Ohio house, and another lawsuit involved her, Molly, and the contractor.
Talk about a headache! But it wasn't all legal troubles. Agnes also found time to show off her crafty side at the
Celebrity Gallery of Handicrafts in April. And get this: she told a story about a fan obsessed with her long
hair and would send her pictures of different hairstyles!
She also kept busy with voice-over work for Carnation and even narrated film strips for a high school
reunion with Cesar Romero. She has also given lectures at Tulsa University and the Scottish Rite Theatre
and appeared at The Headliners Club Dinner in Austin, Texas.
Agnes made time for personal trips, visiting her hometown of Reedsburg and attending the
dedication of a new City Hall complex with Molly. She even went to a Pioneer Women of Leisure World
event with Debbie. For spooky fun, she participated in a Halloween fundraiser for the American Olympic
teams and flew to Florida for the opening of Walt Disney World. Oh, she was also in a movie called
"The Strange Monster of Strawberry Cove" that year!
She also attended the premiere of "The Trojan Women" and was the Honorary Hostess of
"The Detroit Adventure," where she did a reading. An interesting side note from an interview in
Detroit in November, where she had a painful eye ulcer. Poor Agnes! She still attended a friend's
funeral and received the King David Award from Israel. And, of course, she was still involved with
"The Detroit Adventure" event.
I Just Have One of Those Faces
In November 1971, Agnes was in Detroit for a benefit performance of Fiddler on the Roof. Despite
a painful eye ulcer, she continued. When a reporter told her son she'd interviewed Endora from
Bewitched, he was incredibly excited. He happened to be watching the show at the time.
That same year, Agnes said she had "one of those faces" when asked why she often played mean characters.
The University of Wisconsin-Madison honored her as Alumnus of the Year, even though she'd only taken
a few summer classes. She appeared in "Witches Feast" on the Night Gallery and invested in United
General Theatre with Glen Ford. She also served on the board of advisors for United General Mini Theatre
and attended a workshop for the United Theatre Franchise. Agnes participated in a Halloween fundraising
gala for the American Olympic teams and hosted her last holiday party in Beverly Hills. She was also the
Honorary Hostess of "The Detroit Adventure," where she gave a reading.
November 11, 1971
Thursday
Detroit, Michigan
Helen Fogel
After my interview with Agnes Moorehead on Wednesday, I called my 12-year-old son.
“Guess who I just talked to,” I said. “Who,” asked Paul. “Endora,” I said. “ENDORA!” His voice exploded. “That’s right, I’m watching 'Bewitched.” “I’m watching her right now. What did she say?” So the perennial Agnes Moorehead has done it again.”
Miss Moorehead is in Detroit for the Detroit Adventure benefit performance of “Fiddler on the Roof.”
And she’s suffering.
A painful ulcer on the cornea of her left her somewhat teary, though carrying on. “One has to do that,”
she said with a graceful wave of her hand.
The last party ever.
December 9, 1971
Saturday
1023 Roxbury Drive
Beverly Hills, California
The festivities began promptly at 4:00 p.m. The house was filled with evergreen boughs, mistletoe balls,
gorgeous Christmas trees, red velvet bows, and beautifully set tables. Agnes stood there radiant in a stunning
pink and gold caftan, her hair shining like a brilliant red Christmas ornament. Over the ancient doors was a
wreath of evergreen and holly with evergreen boughs draped from each side entangled with red velvet ribbon.
It looked as if Santa Claus had relocated to Beverly Hills. There was chatter and beautiful Christmas music.
Laughter was heard from every corner. Some folks were singing along with the singers, and others were
sipping a drink while taking in the event's sheer size. Out front, valets parked cars of every kind.
The entire street became a parking lot. For five hours, Agnes fluttered about, sitting down often to
get her breath. She knew she was unwell and gave the party anyway. Ever the steadfast party
thrower, Aggie girded herself and meandered all over the place as if she had been in perfect health.
The truth of it would be known soon enough, and the idea of that terrified her.
Nobody suspected that she wasn't up to par. She had ample opportunity to sit while talking with her guests
the exhaustion wasn't evident. Looking at the pictures from that particular year, you can see the
circles under her eyes and the sheer exhaustion on her face.
The Older I Grow 1972
“The older I grow, the more I realize that the trivialities that used to frustrate one when you were
younger... they don't mean anything.”
Magic is necessary
Magic is necessary for fame and a stellar smoke screen. Magic that certain je ne sais quoi, presence, a
large, strong, and striking personality. Those are all words used to describe people like Agnes. They
walk into a room, and automatically, people look up to take in the view. That presence is both a gift
and a curse. If you possess or learn to do it, you can read and manage a room like a professional party
planner. But there is another reason it gets used: protection. I jokingly refer to my face as a resting bitch face
that makes little children want to hide, but it’s not who I am. I’ve cultivated it over my years just as
Agnes did and for the same reason. You can only see what she chooses to show you. Full stop.
Agnes Moorehead was a complicated woman. She had complete confidence in herself in front of an
audience, in front of a camera, in front of a microphone, but take that away, and she was lost like a
child. She could perform as Agnes Moorehead, but it was just that, a performance. Women were drawn to
her as an actress, in particular, because she oozed a sense of strength. Something they felt was solid and
comfortable. Something they can lean on for support in times of need. We've all heard the rumors, but what
does that matter? Any human being with a soul would fall in love with her. She had a soul like a beacon in
the dark, attracting those who craved that erudite light. Her intensity was like a flame,
like internal combustion that she translated into action. She was very moody, and everything depended on her moods or whims. She could be undisciplined in many ways and
jump from one thing to another without completing something before moving on. At least, that is how
her personal life seemed to be lived. Yet with all that, she ran her home like clockwork.
She was an enigma, a walking contradiction.
A strange, eccentric lady
Quint Benedetti says, "Agnes never ceased to be a star, an important, intelligent lady, a strange, eccentric lady but a big star. She was irresistible to me. A promise in herself, whose colors and brilliance
made some of the students follow her unthinkingly. Part of the power of Agnes' spell lay in the
promises she'd cast. Typically feminine, but more so with Agnes." Agnes was a perfectionist.
Someone who was utterly dedicated to the idea that with practice and observation, life became a
helpful tool in and of itself. She used to say to acting students, "It's interesting, life, colors, brilliance.
Do something brilliant, think!" If you want to do something, you take the reality and color it."
"Watch life, watch theatre, be skeptical, analyze successes, failures, analyze it all." Take reality, and you
color it.
It is an exciting premise that aligns with her failure to live in this world fully and her desire to make reality
conform to what she thought it should be. Whether it was her school, her family, or her career, she had specific
tints she applied to them to make them bearable. She rarely moved beyond the fantasy that she surrounded
herself with as protection. She remained in the woods and was whatever she wanted to be whenever she
wanted to be.
You can't depend on human beings, you know.
Agnes herself said, "You can't depend on human beings." I found her to be damaged by so many things. Her mother, her sister's death, her father's death,
and her abusive husbands ( I make this plural because Robert Gist was just as harsh as Jack Lee ever
thought about being, but he did it without outward physical marks. He did it psychologically.),
her money problems, her fame Agnes was emotionally crippled in the most significant sense of the word,
terrified of what other people might do to her—scared of losing control of her life and terrified of losing
her youth, her money, her career. She lived in constant terror of so many things. The only creatures on
this earth she trusted implicitly were her animals, and her love for them speaks of a person harmed by humans
to the point of only trusting the unconditional love of an animal. Do you know what it takes to reach that point?
How much damage must be done to the psyche for this to occur? She was christened aloof, and she was
without doubt. Charles Tranberg very poignantly described it like this,
“But in that aloofness, she often showed great dedication and bravery–holding her own in what is often a
man’s world or profession and bravery in maintaining a work schedule in the last two years of her life that
would tire a healthy person, not to mention a 71-year-old woman battling cancer.” Heartbreaking.
Charles Tranberg
Am I Dying or What?
"In February 1972, Agnes received some difficult news. She was diagnosed with uterine cancer and had
to undergo surgery and other treatments. After her hospital stay, she went to live with Molly while she recovered.
Later that year, on September 1st, Agnes announced that she couldn't host her annual Christmas party
because she'd be going on tour. In an article, she mentioned being unwell but reassured everyone that she
was feeling and looking much better.
Dearest Agnes,
Just returned and read your letter, and received your phone message. How can you do these things
without your true and loyal lawyer being aware of them? Delighted to hear from the nurse it’s
over and that you are now recovering. Have spoken with Stover, and all is taken care of. My
prayers and good wishes are with you.
Frank
Telegram February 22, 1972, 10:43 a.m. PS
Actress Agnes Moorehead plans to remain in Rochester, Minnesota, as an outpatient of the
Mayo Clinic for another week. The 66-year-old Miss Moorehead has been released from
Methodist Hospital, where she has been a patient since February 17. Officials declined to
disclose the nature of her illness.
AP
Summary by L. Fay Esters 10:27 pm ES 3-9-72
Letter Rochester Methodist Hospital
March 1, 1972
Rochester Methodist Hospital, Rochester
Dear Miss Moorehead,
I would like to thank you personally for the autograph and candy you gave us this morning.
My daughter will be delighted.
I’m sorry to hear that you have been troubled so much while here.
We all hope you have a very speedy recovery and will be looking forward to seeing you soon.
Thanks again.
Kitty Deming
RHM Business Office
March 7, 1972
Dear Agnes,
Charles has just informed me of your surgery. I do feel for you very deeply. It’s over ten years old.s
Since mine, I must admit pretty quite uncomfortable for a while. I’m sure within two or
three weeks, you will start to feel more like yourself.
At present, I am home, trying to fight a cold. Nasty things.
My best wishes, dear. Be well and stay strong.
Fondly
Sally
Initials SI
Punishing Death With A Schedule
"Agnes kept incredibly busy in 1972. She juggled a lot! There were films like 'Dear Dead Delilah,'
'Marcus Welby MD,' and 'Rolling Man.' She signed on for 'The Three Faces of Love' with Lorne
Greene in January. But things shifted quickly – she had to withdraw from the Folk Dance Festival,
with Cesar Romero stepping in to narrate. Then, 'Rolling Man' started filming, and Agnes was part of it.
She still lent her voice to narrate that month's International Folk Dance Festival at the Dorothy
Chandler Pavilion.
Charlotte's Web was also on its way to theaters that January. In February, Agnes did a reading at
Antelope Valley College. Then came some uncompromising news: in March, she was diagnosed with
uterine cancer and needed surgery and treatment. She stayed with Molly while recovering.
Despite her health issues, she was still involved in the National Artists Awards Dinner and Show in June
and attended a special event for the Allen Lunts. She even did a radio interview with Robert Q Lewis.
In August, she signed up for an episode of 'Marcus Welby.'
The play 'Don Juan in Hell' opened in Fresno that August and moved to the Flint Center. Despite everything,
Agnes returned to the 'Don Juan in Hell' stage in September. Paul Gregory was surprised, asking her,
'Why?' The play ran at the Ahmanson Theatre for three weeks, directed by John Houseman. Then, it
was off to Chicago's Shubert Theatre, where it played until October 22nd.
October saw Agnes in 'Night of Terror,' she also did some voice-over work. 'Don Juan in Hell'
continued its run in Boston, then Washington, DC, where the cast was officially welcomed.
There were also stops in Cincinnati, Philadelphia, Pittsburgh, and finally Toronto, where the play
ran until January 13, 1973."
What about Tanya?
Tanya Longman Hills
Item number 2 on the most asked questions in the comment section is Agnes' sexuality. I've repeatedly
said and must continue to say that the only person who can answer some of these questions is dead and
has been for 44 years. The last speculated relationship Agnes had was with Tanya Hills.
I posted a video a while ago about Tanya and her twin sister, Sandra, living in a van in California.
There was a drive to collect money to assist them in getting an apartment. I contributed to that in honor of Agnes.
I've just been told by a friend of Tanya's that she is now in an assisted living environment
and is suffering from dementia. I've also been advised that Tanya still keeps a photograph of Agnes by
her bed and speaks openly about the intensity of the relationship and how much she loved Agnes. So, really
no surprises
However, who knows how long her mind will be able to recall all of this? I was invited to ask Tanya
questions, but I opted not to. Why, you may well ask? The answer is simple and
identical to my reason for letting Sean live his life quietly. Tanya never attempted to make one
penny off her relationship with Agnes, whatever it may have been. She could have done so quickly
multiple times, but her loyalty to Agnes is such that she did not. This deserves consideration at the
deepest level. Let the woman have her memories of Agnes as long as she can hold on to them, and let
her remaining time on this plane be quiet so she can live in those memories for as long as possible.
Tanya Longman Hills and her twin sister, Sandra Longman Hills, were born on Sunday, April 15, 1934, in
Tampa Bay, Florida. Their parents were John Eldridge Hills and Phoebe Louise Longman. They had a
brother named John Leveret Hills. They spent portions of their lives in Florida, Ohio, and California.
By 1950, their father was a contractor in Ohio and had a business. They graduated from Hudson High
School in Hudson, Ohio, and attended St. Petersburg College, participating in women's athletics, including
basketball and tennis. On June 21, 1942, Tanya made the Tampa Bay news after a fall from a seawall
lacerating her left hip, which required 15 stitches to close. Accidents were no stranger to Tanya. Much
later in life, a head injury would debilitate her, and she wound up homeless, with her sister living in a
van at 82 years old. Yet again, she would make the news, which, oddly enough, brought her to the attention
of several local people who took it upon themselves to help the sisters find a place to live.
Tanya developed Alzheimer's and died in 2019 with the continued concern and care of at least one
of the people who helped the sisters get off the street.
A Complicated Woman
I have read an exorbitant amount about the life of my cousin. I have read every book about her, every
article, every magazine piece, every quip, dot, comma, noun, and verb. Yet, the amount of information
that bears so little resemblance to reality never ceases to amaze me. It is hard to say precisely where
some of the blatant misinformation began. Some of it has been repeated so often that it has become
accepted. Some of it is deliberate. Some of it is a failure of people to research their work accurately. All of it irritates me because it is an acceptance of an illusion that portrays this strong, passionate, sensitive,
beautiful soul as a typical "Hollywood" star. Nothing could be further from the truth.
When you have time on your hands, you look for things to rant about; you read.
You notice the inaccuracies when you read things you've read many times.
I understand that much work went into these books, yet I'm stunned that each author
seemed to stop short of the truth.
Charles Tranberg wrote his book I Love the Illusion after interviewing some of
Agnes's intimates and extensively reviewing her papers at the University of Wisconsin.
His book is filled with more inaccurate information than any of the others. He put a lot
of work into this vehicle, but his information is seriously flawed. His information, garnered
firsthand from the likes of Paul Gregory, is brilliant and an invaluable insight
into the character of this magnificent woman. Still, his willingness to pepper it with lousy information
does a great disservice. So, in the spirit of unmisinformation, I admit I just made that word up; I will dissect
and attempt to illuminate the truth of Agnes Moorehead.
The portion that alludes to Agnes's family life starts by providing information that both girls were born in
Massachusetts, " It was shortly after Margaret was born that John was assigned to a new parish in Hamilton,
Ohio." Nothing could be further from the truth. Agnes was born in Clinton, Massachusetts, and when
her family moved to Hamilton, Ohio, she was an only child. Margaret was born in Hamilton on the 12th
of April 1906. I have the birth record, so there's no arguing this point
The following information provided was that the Moorehead home was the loving home we all longed for
and that the two girls lived a somewhat idyllic life. First of all, we know that Molly could be cold and
uncaring. That statement comes from someone who knew Molly Moorehead. The gentleman who
made the statement chalked that part of her personality as a fundamentalist Presbyterian.
He also added that her life was lived for the glory of god. It's going out on a limb when you make
sweeping statements like the one below because your information is only as accurate as the people
who give it to you, and one thing I've learned is that Agnes was a chameleon. She could adapt and
cover herself no matter what it took.
I'm sure they were loved, but not in the way they should have been. Ultimately, the lack of understanding
and love cost Margaret her life. So you can take away from this whatever you desire. Still, you have
to be willing to read between the lines and apply basic psychology principles to the interpretation of
These statements, such as, "While they were brought up in a home full of love, music, books, and
religion, Agnes and Margaret like all children got into mischief."
"Agnes developed a headstrong, lively personality and a sharp wit, which reminded many people of
Molly. Agnes and Molly would be remembered for being very similar in attitudes and behavior.
Margaret was more like her father, low key and shy." From my experience, I know what it's like to be
similar to your mother. It usually adds to arguments, disagreements, and downtime in your room reading.
Certainly, Agnes was outgoing to a point but hid her authentic self to protect it. How much was she like
her mother? You don't manufacture facades to keep the world at bay if you are outgoing, headstrong, and
lively. Similarly, low-key, mellow, shy people rarely go off the deep end and commit suicide.
The surface of these two complex personalities has only been scratched at best.
Hiding In Plain Sight
Agnes hid herself away in her make-believe world. In fantasy, she was safe from the trials and tribulations of the outside world. Again, someone with an Ozzy and Harriet upbringing doesn't need to hide from anything. Nearly every person who speaks about her mentions her ability to detach and enter into a blatantly untrue story and then act as though it were fact; for her, it was. Yet, nobody wants to understand that this type of escape is pursued by someone who has dealt at great length with trauma in their lives. They say, "Unlike many other children, she didn't get frightened when she read Grimm Fairy Tales. She got caught up in the adventures without the side effects of nightmares. Agnes lost herself in the stories and could spend hours sitting alone reading, and then, afterward, she would spend hours acting out what she read. She would be in a fantasy world, and her best friend was her imagination."
Agnes never gave people what they might need to determine what made her tick. She guarded herself so closely that any information that came via her to a friend or acquaintance had to be considered suspect. She didn't talk about her personal life. She took that information with her when she passed away. She left us to unravel a larger-than-life electric persona, but as often is the case, the person who goes to that much trouble to conceal themselves does so because they are fragile underneath the bravado. They do it to protect their human hearts and souls from being compromised. Still, the strength it took her to master herself is a monument to the woman we have all come to sort of know but love.
March 18, 1972
Tanya
What a rough time I have had–the clinic found all kinds of things wrong with me–I had to have surgery–I’ll tell you all about it when I see you–but right now, I’m still under the doctor's care and will be until March 31st. Then I go to my mother's and stay until I get my strength back. I’m afraid I’ll have to cancel all my April dates–because I just don’t have the strength to stand on a stage for so long, I will go to the farm. Your pretty card was forwarded to me. I didn’t have your address to put it in my book-so. I couldn’t write and didn’t want any publicity to get out–so don’t tell anyone-what they don’t know won’t hurt them. I just say I have an eye infection, which is true as I am under the doctor's care as to my eyes. So it goes, my dear Tanya; it will be some time before I see you -and I hope by then I will be my old self again, or at least I’ll be nice and thin.
I instructed the girls not to say anything to anybody, so don’t say I told you. I’m getting along fine and can’t wait to return to Reedsburg. Glad you are back to your tennis game–I suppose the school keeps its same humdrum routine. I have a few innovations to tell you a la Mayo–I’m glad your mother is feeling better–they are going to Boulder Dam, I assume from your letter (card). Keep praying for me–Did you watch Billy Graham from Chicago? It was pretty inspiring—---Best Always.
Love
A
Letter from Tanya
Dear Agnes
Thot you might like to know that I sent a large card to Elizabeth from you and just said I’m in Gigi in NY, but I wanted you to know I’m thinking about you and wish you a fast recovery.
Love Agnes
I also sent you a note about Christmas and Birthday gifts today via UPS, so you will receive them on Monday.
I'm sorry I got so emotional on the phone, but sometimes we need a friend to let us down. I hope you are still mine.
Am going to start working in the intensive gynecological unit here at UCLA on call since the caseload for private duty has been slower, and the supervisors keep trying to use me for critical hospital patients. So I can do both private duty and hospital work. Then, tomorrow, I have an interview for pre-med on campus.
Yes, my faith has wavered a bit, but I’m fine now. Jim thinks I need to take Dilantin (used in brain control) and says I get too depressed and hostile–he’s right and all at him.
Take Care, Love Tanya
Incomplete letter from Tanya
…finding a ticket on my car, then I came in and found a note from you and jumped with joy-I miss you so.
Sandy gave me a bunch of enzymes, so will send them to you. Thank you for the Reverie Bath Crystals and powder and for remembering I like them.
Must be off to work,
Love, love, love ya!! Tanya
Dec. 30, 1972
Dear Agnes,
I just returned from Lafayette tonight to discover the new nursing registry I joined had been looking for me since Thurs. To special Katherine Hepburn. She dislocated her hip and had surgery. So it goes!! My loss for relaxing four more days instead of returning on Thurs. As originally planned. I avoided Jim as he continues to call and come over or write letters until I think I will lose my marbles. All I want to do is run away, and just as I was hoping to, Dorothy called and said she was in the hospital in a three-bed ward and wanted to die if someone didn’t help her. So Clint, who had been calling me for three days to find her, anyway, Dr. Bill Dodge, your friend, saw her and operated on Tuesday. So I had to special her for five days, and after five days, I was ready for the “booby hatch.” She is the most demanding director of nursing ever and drove me nuts. I would no sooner walk out of the room to get something, and she would put the light on. So, I signed off the case and went up to see Mom and Dad, and Sandy and Dorothy got another nurse to go home with her. I couldn’t take it and told her to save a friendship; she was wise to get another nurse. They found three sponges in her back from surgery 13 years ago. It had worn away some of the spine and formed a large tumor. So I hope she recovers fast now without it.
Mom and Dad are driving to Boulder Dam…missing from now on.
Theater Is A Thankless Art 1973
“Theater is a thankless art. When the curtain goes down, that is all. It doesn't mean anything.
Memories are very short, and fame is extremely fleeting.”
Under the glitter
The glitter in this woman’s life was the band-aid that hid the natural Aggie. It was like a cocoon for her, warm and safe. Everyone knows what happens when you rip a band off too quickly. We all have self-created buffer zones around us for emotional protection in some cases and, occasionally, physical security as well. It should be no surprise that Agnes had one of the “crumple zones'' around her. It was solid and carefully constructed to protect her from disturbances, either emotional, physical, or mental. Yes, the sole purpose of this entire exercise is to lift that glitter bandage to understand the woman who lived behind it. She’s intense, and she is fragile, but she’s real. One hundred percent human. That glitter encasement enabled her to be the woman we see externally.
I Know What I’m About
Agnes always said, "I know what I'm about."
"It's interesting, life, colors, brilliance. Do something brilliant, think!" If you want to do something, you color the reality." "Watch life, watch theatre, be skeptical, analyze successes, failures, analyze it all." Take reality, and you color it. It is an exciting premise that aligns with her failure to live in this world fully and her desire to make reality conform to what she thought it should be. Whether it was her school, her family, or her career, she had specific tints she applied to them to make them bearable. She rarely moved beyond the fantasy that she surrounded herself with as protection. She remained in the woods and was whatever she wanted to be whenever she wanted to be.
A Well Built Wall
Agnes, it has been said, "used words like hammers." She emphasized them, repeated them, and pounded them into the minds of those who listened to her. Quint Benedetti says, "She hit them like a batter with loaded bases. She did the same thing with sentences. She would question fiercely and then quietly, then intensively answer her questions. She would make an important statement augustly and then repeat it softly, reflectively, more strongly than the first time. Or intensely, searching, as if inexorably prying out its true meaning. But her repetition was always an echo that we would continue inside ourselves." Her echo would continue inside us, and so it does in many ways. I doubt that the depth of her mark on this world was apparent to her.
One Hundred Percent Human
She was very moody, and everything depended on her moods or, better yet, whims. She could be undisciplined in many ways and jump from one thing to another without completing something before moving on. At least, that is how her personal life seemed to be lived. Yet with all that, she ran her home like clockwork. She was an enigma, a walking contradiction. Her intensity was an inner fire that flowed through her incredible animation. Agnes Moorehead was a complicated woman. She had complete confidence in herself in front of an audience, in front of a camera, in front of a microphone, but take that away, and she was lost like a child. She could perform as Agnes Moorehead, but it was just that, a performance. Women were drawn to her as an actress, in particular, because she oozed a sense of strength. Something they felt was solid and comfortable. Something they can lean on for support in times of need. We've all heard the rumors, but what does that matter? Any human being with a soul would fall in love with her. She had a soul like a beacon in the dark, attracting those who craved that erudite light. Her intensity was like a flame, like internal combustion that she translated into action.
What becomes of us when the glitter rubs off and the magic is gone? Aging has been the bane of human existence since day one. For most of us, it means retiring and learning to live a “senior” life. But for those who work in the entertainment industry, it means just trying to survive. Hollywood was once a glamorous place—beautiful people who threw beautiful parties in their homes. Ask yourself what happens when you stop being relevant. Agnes once said that she expected to work less as she aged but not “this much” less. The first question that comes to my mind is to define “less.” I would never define Agnes’ workload as anything close to normal. She felt her work defined who she was. She needed to work because she lived in a constant state of debt. She pursued projects patently beneath her talent because she needed the reinforcement of performing to be comfortable. She was dubbed the “Queen of the Road'' in theatrical circles because of her seemingly endless, unceasing drive.
Do It Yourself Psychoanalysis
The quick glimpse of her acting school by Quint Benedetti told us all something significant about Agnes: Why pay for psychoanalysis when you can do it yourself? She says several times that you must understand psychology to be an actor. You must know it. She was a highly educated woman, and she read all the time. She read psychology books. She understood what was going on inside of her better than anyone who might have attempted through guided conversation and psychological symptom analysis. Like every person with a mental illness, there were times when it momentarily slipped beyond her control, but unlike the rest of them, she would right her ship and get it on course through self-discipline.
Actors sell fantasy
Agnes had it right when she said that actors sell fantasy and that to tamper with an actor's psyche was to destroy their magic. It would have taken that sense of the fantastic away from her. It would have removed the part of her that so many people came to know and love at a distance. For all of her quirks and issues, I am happy with the woman who had magic in her voice and mischief in her eyes but lived in a world so mysterious and unreal that it rivaled the beautiful land of Oz.
Illuminate Me
“My life has been as long as any. I've had to struggle more than most people in my very privileged profession, and although my career might be described or capsulized in a few paragraphs by some writers, I won't let that happen to my life. Certainly not to my private life, having others try to understand or illuminate me, all in one or two pages." It bears out in a phrase that she constantly repeated, "I know what I'm about." She certainly did, without any doubt, know what she was about. Every nuance of every personality she let show was a result of a disciplined spirit that understood the world's rules and how they must dictate your life, but that they could not dictate your spirit, they could not dictate your heart, and they could not dictate your soul. That was a task left to her and her alone. A part of her was guarded by pillars, mirrors, and mazes that only the owner could show anyone safely through. As humans, we tend to like the things that remind us of ourselves. We idolize the people we would like to emulate. Agnes was no different in most ways. She did isolate herself, her true self. She was more solitary than most in Hollywood but had more to lose if she exposed her true nature. Some folks are content to believe she had no idea, in the words of Debbie Reynolds, what the word lesbian meant. They are afraid to look at the big picture. They don't want to know that this brilliant, erudite woman was a free thinker who had lived beyond the boundaries of what they perceived as usual. But she did, and she did it so beautifully, spiritually, and magnificently that it is a disservice to the woman not to recognize her in all her glory.
So, 1973 was a massive year for Agnes. She was everywhere! First, 'Charlotte's Web' came out – such a classic. Then, she was in 'Frankenstein: The True Story,' which was different. And, of course, there was 'Gigi.
She also did 'Don Juan in Hell' – or DJIH, as it says here – which opened in January. Critics were mixed on Montalban, but everyone else got great reviews. Then, she was on Dick Cavett's show in February. She even kept up with her letters, writing to someone named Jeanie a bunch of times that year.
In March, she signed on for that Frankenstein movie, and in April, she went to a farewell party for Virginia Graham. Oh, and Charlotte's Web officially premiered that month, too. More 'Gigi' performances followed in San Francisco, Detroit, and St. Louis. She managed to squeeze in a few more letters to Jeanie, and by November, 'Gigi' was on Broadway!
She also sent out Christmas cards and celebrated the New Year with Debbie by throwing cast parties. I mean, she was working constantly!
The Curtain Comes Down 1974
“The mirror of life reflects one thing—only love.”
Agnes Moorehead
Trivialities
During the tour of Gigi, Agnes was interviewed in Saint Louis, which she called her "hometown." Below is a selection of interviews given on the way to completing her circle in New York, where she had begun her career some 46 years earlier. Agnes knew at this point she was terminally ill but chose to go on one last tour. It says something significant and wise from a woman who learned the hard way what fame and fortune were all about.
"The older I grow, the more I realize that the trivialities that used to frustrate one when you were younger...they don't mean anything. Theatre is a thankless art. When the curtain goes down, that is all. It really doesn't mean anything; memories are short, and fame is extremely fleeting."
Agnes was dead a mere nine months or so later.
